RSP
by Zorknot
Summary: One of the more maligned members of the Ranma1/2 cast has his say...


RSP  
A Ranma 1/2 spamfic by Zorknot  
  
DISCLAIMER: Takahashi Rumiko made up some interesting   
characters and plot lines for Ranma 1/2. This is me   
screwing all that up:-)  
  
~~~~~[START]~~~~~  
  
It's very hard for me, you know? Everyone worries   
about Ranma, but no one cares about MY feelings. Even   
Ranma, who I thought would stay with me forever,   
ignores me more and more. Its like he thinks he   
doesn't need me. Maybe he doesn't. It's killing me...  
  
I know, I know. If it wasn't for me, Ranma would never   
have had to go through the Nekoken training. But   
really, it's not my fault! I blame Nodoka and that   
sword of hers. And the training hurt me just as much   
as it did Ranma. Ranma was so close to me...he's   
my blood! And when those cats tore into his flesh,   
they tore into mine as well.   
  
No one cares about that though, do they? Not even   
Ranma anymore. If I start becoming a pain he just   
douses me with water to shut me up. It's frustrating.   
  
I suppose you could say Jusenkyo was my fault too. But   
really! It was a TRAINING ground! What were we   
supposed to do, look around, enjoy the scenery, have a   
few moments of casual intercourse with the natives? I   
wish now that we had done that instead, but while the   
brochure was in Chinese it had one character that was   
unmistakable and that was TRAINING. So we trained. I   
think Ranma would have jumped on those poles even if I   
wasn't around.   
  
As Ranma fell toward the waters of Nyannichuan...I   
think part of me knew what was going to happen,   
because at that moment I was more scared than I ever   
had been before. And when he changed...there's no way   
I could possibly tell you how much it hurt. Suddenly   
all Ranma and I experienced amounted to nothing, and   
we were separated in a way I hadn't thought possible.   
  
I was so relieved when Ranma changed back that I leapt   
straight up in glee...much to Ranma's embarrassment I'm   
sure. But unfortunately the cure wasn't any more   
permanent than the curse.   
  
So you can't blame me for Ranma's problems with the   
Amazons either, though I guess you could blame it on   
my influence. When Shampoo gave Ranma that Kiss of   
Death...I wanted to do something, but I couldn't. All   
I could do was watch, horrified, as the girl kissed   
Onna-Ranma on the cheek and the former boy stood there   
like an idiot, doing nothing.   
  
I've tried to get better, but the truth is, whenever   
Ranma's a girl, she and I just can't communicate. The   
Cat's Tongue...that was the worst. For almost a month   
I could barely talk to Ranma. A gulf opened up between   
us and it seemed to get wider with each passing day. I   
think the phoenix pill came just in time. I could tell   
things were changing in Ranma and that if it had taken   
any longer...well I don't want to think about that. I   
suppose that the Chisuiton could have been much worse,   
but really it was over fairly quickly and things were   
back to normal.   
  
Of course I didn't know what fear was until Ranma   
started ACTING like a girl! I don't know how a knock   
on the head could have done that to Ranma, but it was   
nearly the end of me. One more day of that...two tops   
and I would have left Ranma for good.   
  
You still have no sympathy for me at all, do you?   
  
Do you realize it's a wonder I'm still here talking to   
you? I could have ceased to be a hundred different   
ways! My life is threatened even now! All Ranma has to   
do is say he doesn't want me around anymore and my   
life might as well be over! That's extremely stressful   
let me tell you.   
  
Yes, I know, you have it rough too, Mallet-san, but at   
least Akane uses you from time to time.   
  
I'm telling you, it's much worse being Ranma Saotome's   
penis...  
  
~~~~~[END]~~~~~  
  
This was just an odd thought that wouldn't leave. One   
of these days I'm going to write something wholesome.   
This isn't that day... tomorrow doesn't look good   
either:-)  
  
C&C welcome, but I doubt if I will change anything. 


End file.
